Blaming others for your problems is like blaming donuts for being fat. It wasn’t the donut, it was the choice. You only look like a fool when trying to blame other people for your behaviour. This morning when I was reading today’s Deccan Herald I found an interesting article written by Ms Leela Ramaswamy. The article reads as follows; It is an incident that we come across frequently. A toddler runs around blindly, hits his head against a table and falls crying loudly in pain. His mother rushes up and embraces him, but this does not stop his tears. She then hits the table, shouting, “There, you get that for hurting my baby, you bad, bad table.”

 

The child is now mollified. Clever stratagem? Yes, to begin with, but not in the long run, for this is a beginner’s lesson in throwing the blame on others. Far from stopping the child from running around recklessly, this will teach him that the table and not he was at fault. How much better if the mother had explained to the child why he was hurt!

Often, we see people throwing the blame on everyone else, totally oblivious to their own role in making things go wrong. For instance – the keys are cannot be found, someone has misplaced them; money is missing, the servant is light-fingered; the house is in a mess, because others don’t give any thought to it; the project is delayed, the rest in the team have not pulled their weight. On and on it goes.

 

Casting blame on others however yields no results. At the personal level, it makes the individual both irresponsible and unpleasant. He has begun to believe that he can do no wrong, even as those he is connected with see him as one who is judgmental. At the societal level, this can lead to hostility and even hate.

 

Picking on others is but a step away from being in a permanent state of anger. Such a person is always ill-at-ease and at loggerheads with others. Giving up resentment against others would be an effective way to peace. This is not to say that others are not accountable for their actions but the mode of expressing our dissatisfaction should be a considered and kind one.

 

For instance, when the house is in a mess, take up cleaning it while enlisting the help of the others. In other words, use positive means to remind others of what can be achieved. The blame game is a loser’s game. As Gandhiji pointed out, remember when pointing at others with one finger, three are pointing at yourself!